Living Consciously

Photo by elvis_payne

My window shopping habit started early in life. I grew up with weekend trips to the shopping mall. We didn’t have so much money when I was a child, so I would spend most of my time pawing through stuff in the stores knowing full well that I couldn’t have any of it. Nevertheless, it sure did breed want and desire for everything I touched.

When I was finally out on my own with a full time job, the trips to the mall continued. I still acted like my own kid-self, pawing through stuff in the stores. Only now I had money. I would head to stores out of boredom, but end up finding something new that I just had to have.

You see - many of us, including my former self, consider shopping a past-time. We do it when we’re bored or worse yet, we intentionally plan it. Admittedly, it’s fun and exciting to discover new things when we’re out - a new summer dress, a new book, etc.

However, there are some unfortunate downsides to treating window shopping as a pastime.

Window shopping breeds desire where there was none because it exposes us to new and interesting things that we did not know existed. Though what you already have may very well be sufficient, it is harder to remain satisfied once you know that there is something better out there within your grasp.

For example, you could have just gone to the park and met up with friends and enjoyed your day, but instead you end up trying on what will became your 6th pair of dark denim jeans that have a slightly “better” cut than the other pairs. Worse yet is the feeling of let-down that sets in, often by the time you reach home. Did you really need the pants? You may wish that you had that $60 back instead. Doing this just several times a year can really add up!

For those of us who are on a budget and attempting to stick with it, window shopping will inevitably create conflict. Once you have introduced the desire for something, the situation becomes lose-lose; you must choose between satisfying that desire and saving money. You cannot appease both fully.

I made a conscious decision to end all window-shopping habits a couple years back. Sure, I still end up in stores occasionally with no specific purpose while out and about with friends, but it’s a rare event. My quality of life has improved significantly – less conflict and more money in my savings account. It has certainly aided in my quest to become less materialistic.

When I first quit window-shopping, I was worried that I would not be exposed to things that would truly offer a significant improvement to my quality of life. I’ve found that this hasn’t been a problem at all – good products tend to find you. I get enough exposure to quality products just through my friends, family, and acquaintances.

I suggest giving it a try – make a commitment to not go shopping unless it’s for something you specifically need for a month or two. There are so many healthy alternatives to shopping out there that you’ll have no time finding something else to do. Let me know how it works out in the comments section!

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Photo by dannyman

A friend of mine is working on a campaign called Take Back The Tap. They hope to educate consumers about the downsides of drinking bottled water. Here are some of the arguments I found while looking through their website:

• 86% of those plastic bottles end up in landfills and take billions of gallons of oil to produce.
• We pay on average $2/gallon of bottled water versus $0.002/gallon for tap water, or $0.10 to $0.25/gallon for filtered water.
• Bottled water is poorly regulated and just as likely, if not more likely, to contain harmful bacteria than tap water.

I will be the first to admit that bottled water is convenient! Years ago when it started to become widely available, it made me happy because it was a great alternative to soda and other “juices” found in vending machines.

I eventually started using a counter-top Brita filter and a hiking canteen to save money. I go through about 6 to 8 filters per year for just my own use and only have to wash the canteen about once a week. The water tastes great, is healthy, is easy to take with me, and costs next to nothing.

I can’t say that purity issues or the environmental impact of the plastic bottles were my reasoning for switching to filtered tap water, but after reading through the Take Back The Tap website, it appears that there are more than just economic reasons for finding an alternative to bottled water.

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• Your Peanut Butter Sucks (2)

Photo by chris17nz

We are beings capable of change when the desire to change is true. However, many of us do not attempt to change, hiding behind the ever reliable mantra of, “This is the way I am.” When we make a concerted effort to move beyond this mentality, life becomes more fulfilling, or at least a bit less stressful. What many of us do not grasp is that the pain of not changing is often greater and longer than the pain of actually changing. My “war” on tomatoes is a recent and personal example of making a concerted effort to change.

Three months ago, I declared “war” on tomatoes. I have never been fond of the red fruit. It’s mostly a texture thing. I have always had a gag-reflex when biting into one, I was a self-declared tomato-hater. It was an accepted part of my identity. “This is the way I am,” and it cannot be changed.

Tomatoes are difficult to avoid in an American diet. I would try to dodge them at all costs. This maneuver added a layer of stress, especially when eating out. For years I had to special order my salads, sandwiches, and pastas. What a pain. Worse yet, if I was at a dinner party and tomatoes were served up in a dish, I had to pick around them, leaving a pile of them on my plate. If I was lucky, I had someone close who was willing to eat them for me, but that felt rude. Life would have been so much easier if I had just been able to eat them myself.

Contrary to what you might have thought when I declared “war” on tomatoes, I actually waged the war by forcing myself to eat tomatoes every day until I could do it without a gag-reflex. I never expected to actually enjoy them, but I wanted to reach a point where I could eat them gracefully when needed - conquer and declare personal victory. And you know what? It worked.

Every day for lunch, I would either order a caprese sandwich or a chef salad. Both of these had huge chunks of fresh tomato in them. During the first few days, the first few bites of the meal would result in that dreaded gag-reflex. But I was determined - lots of water, big mouthfuls, and lots of chewing aided me in getting each bite down. Every day it got a bit easier. I no longer approached each bite with dread. Sometimes I would make it halfway through the meal without thinking about my personal vendetta.

It only took about two weeks to get over the gag reflex, accomplishing my goal. I even continued to order the caprese sandwiches almost every day as I had actually come to like them. I’m still not fond of tomatoes by themselves, but I can get them down without embarrassing myself or burdening others.

I changed. I am no longer, “The way I am.”

I gained enough familiarity with the taste and texture of tomatoes that my body doesn’t reject them. In one small way, my life is a bit easier and less stressful now due to this short, but concerted effort.

This process is applicable to many behaviors in life that hold us back, what we digest is only the beginning. Keeping this in mind - are there any foods in your life that you need to declare war on?

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Photo by Aim and shoot!
Peanut butter. An American staple. I must have eaten 10 gallons of it by the time I was 10 years old. Good times.

This little ground nut spread is a double-edged sword. Like any nuts, peanuts are high in protein, a building block for muscle development. On the other hand, it is high in fat content which is not so bad when consumed in reasonable quantities.

Many of the popular brands we commonly buy have taken to adding partially-hydrogenated oil to the mixture. This is done to maintain the consistency of the spread and preserve it so that you do not have to refrigerate it. Unfortunately, partially-hydrogenated oil is high in transitive fat and downright horrible for you.

Fortunately, there is an easy solution. Most supermarkets carry traditional/natural peanut butter. You will want to look for a peanut butter with only one ingredient – peanuts. Most of them still add a bit of salt to bring out the flavor, which is acceptable.

The trade-off with these healthier versions of peanut butter is that you will have to occasionally stir them to maintain consistency and refrigerate them. However, I’ve found the taste to be much more desirable. This peanut butter tastes as it should – like ground peanuts!

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Photo by 427
Do you have a reoccurring problem of overfilling your trash bin, such that when you finally decide to take it out, it is difficult to close the bag? I dealt with this problem for years before finding a simple beautiful solution.

I buy trash bags that are one-size too big for my trash bin.

I end up with some extra material, which I fold down the outside of the bin. Now, regardless of how much extra junk I pile on top, I’m still able to close and tie-off the bag. Yay.

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Photo by Generation X-Ray

One of the long-running jokes in my family revolves around the army boots sitting up in our attic. My father served in the Army Reserves 30-some-odd years ago. The boots were issued to him at the time. While it is understandable that the boots have sentimental value to him, we joke because there are not one, but two pairs of these boots sitting up there. Even though they have not been used in 30 - plus years he refuses to part with them.

I have been a nomad the last 10 years of my life, moving every several months or so. I’ve lived out of suitcases for half of that time, either abroad or in temporary living situations. Limited personal space coupled with the difficulty of moving possessions across the world and country, I rarely collect things.

Despite my nomadic ways, I am as sentimental as my father. Had I followed his path in life and stayed put in one place, I would have certainly collected everything with a memory associated with it. It’s painful to part with things, but I’ve managed to do it over and over without sacrificing the memories.

Let’s step back and think about what sentimentality really is. When you pick up that baseball glove or sit in the chair from your grandmother, what happens? You are reminded of a period of time or person in your life. But aren’t the memories you recollect that make you feel good and not the object itself?

With that logic in mind, I tend to look at the functionality of the sentimental object. Is it something that I have use for in the immediate or near future? Does it have aesthetic value? If I answer “no” to both questions, whatever it is is probably just taking up space. I tell myself it’s time to part with it. Here is my solution.

Get out your camera. Take a picture of said object. Get rid of it – donate it, sell it, trash it, or even dump it off on a relative.

Do I seem a bit too cavalier? Did the thought of that make you cringe? Allow me to defend the idea.

I have found a picture of something to be just as stimulating of memories as the object itself. As I have experienced, it is the memories associated with the object that make us feel good, not the object itself. As long as you have a way to spur those memories, the object is little more than a burden at that point. Once you have parted with a non-functional possession, rarely do you think of it and rarely do you hurt from it being gone.

Take a look around your place and pull out some sentimental things. Do they serve a purpose in your life other than spurring memories? Are you able to release yourself from the physical weight of them? Try walking through the mental exercise and let me know your thoughts in the comments section.

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Photo by JoshBerglund19

If you’re like my mother, you may have a bit of a problem with locking your keys in the car. Repeatedly. See one of her stories over at Home Beckons. While it has lead to some rather funny stories, it’s not exactly a fun experience to go through.

The last time I locked my keys in my car was in 1997. Embarrassed, I vowed to never again make the same mistake. I became very conscious of my keys when turning off the car. Each time, I immediately put my index finger through the keyring, removed the key from the ignition, and put the keys in my left pocket as I stood up. Over time, this process developed into a habit. These days, the muscle movements are so deeply ingrained that I perform the whole process without thinking about it.

If you don’t have this kind of habit, I highly recommend developing it. It’s a good investment for the little bit of effort that it takes to ingrain the process. If you have trouble getting started, try to create some sort of trigger to remind you when you turn your car off. A couple triggers that I have seen work in the past are putting a small note on the car dashboard or a piece of tape on the ignition key itself.

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Yesterday, upon returning home from a long day sightseeing around DC, my girlfriend sadly found that she had lost one of her earrings. The earrings were of some sentimental value as she bought the set while living in Italy several years ago. She was understandably distraught over the loss and it became a reoccurring, stressing thought throughout the rest of the evening. While trying to console her at one point, I posed the question:

Will this matter a year from now?

This is a tactic I’ve been using for several years now to reduce my anxiety levels when something unfortunate happens. My answer is almost always an obvious “no.” The vast majority of bad events that occur in our lives mean little in the grand scheme of life. By asking yourself this question and giving an honest answer, you can expedite the process by which you let go, move on, and put yourself in a happy state again.

Of course there will be times when the event is something that will matter a year from now, such as losing a job or the death of a loved one. The point is not to trivialize tragic events, but to separate the large number of trivial events from the small number of non-trivial events.

Here are some common situations that we encounter that likely have little meaning in the long run. Take some time to reflect on the last time any of these happened to you, how you reacted, and if the event really does mean anything to you now.

• Loss or damage of a physical possession
• Someone saying hurtful things about you or someone you care about
• Loss of a sports match on any level
• Missing an opportunity to attend an event or meet friends
• Being reprimanded for something small or unintentional, such as a parking ticket.
• A disagreement with a friend, colleague, or family member
• A non-life-threatening injury

Do you spend more time than you need to dwelling on something that really doesn’t matter? If so, it’s time to move on!

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